My eyes were closing. The only thing that's keeping me awake was the cold and merciless wind slapping on my uncovered face. I felt like a snail crawling my way up to the summit. Each small step forward required an enormous effort as it was going against my mind that was constantly telling me to stop. But stopping was worse than moving forward and defying gravity. We hugged each other tightly, hiding our faces behind each other's back to take cover from the freezing wind. "Look, the stars are so close," he pointed at the sky. It took my mind off the cold for a little while. I looked up and saw tiny specks of white lights forming a trail in the darkness. I looked down and the white lights were bobbing up. Everyone else was pressing on. "Let's go," I said.

The end was in sight. I could see the famous green summit post I had seen in the books. I was breathing so hard I needed to stop for awhile. "Come on, a little bit more," our mountain guide Nickles stretched out his hand. Before I knew it, he was dragging me up the last 200m towards Low's Peak at 4,095m.

After being lashed by the wind for hours, I was completely dazed from the cold and fatigue. I sat down and looked around me. There was nothing above me and everything was beneath me. It was phenomenal. Suddenly, everything else in the world seemed so small and trivial. What else in life could be more difficult than coming up here?

It was 6am and the sky was slowly lighting up. I looked at what's beneath my feet and it felt unbelievable I had trudged all the way up these granite and rocks. Unfortunately, we could see nothing up here. I just have no luck when it comes to sunrise. I was too cold to brood over the disappointment and too exhausted to take much photos. I don't even remember if I said anything to him at the top.

Although Nickles seemed lackadaisical at first, I must really commend that he is a responsible person. He brought an extra headlight knowing people like us may only bring one torch. He took off his beanie and put it on my head when he saw I was cold and battered from the rain. Without him, I don't think I could have made it back to Sayat Sayat Hut. I was surprised he even bothered to apply some lotion on my leg after I slipped and fell. We handed him our cameras and he did a superb job.

It started to rain while we were walking down. The wind was so powerful and relentlessly trying to sweep us off the ground. I was dripping wet, shaking from the cold and extremely exhausted. The weather was so severe I had no idea how to proceed. I was in a total wreck. Why did I come all the way here to go through this? I found myself whimpering and all I could hear was the rustling sound of my blue poncho in the wind. Nickles (in yellow) was holding on to my hand and asking me "Ah moi, why you cry? Don't cry." I was too ashamed to respond.

It stopped raining for awhile and the sky was clear after we left Low's Peak (protruding slab of granite). I am very thankful to Nickles for capturing really beautiful photos of us while we were busy crawling down on all fours.

Forgoing via ferrata was a right but not the best decision. "They are also tired but they don't want to let themselves down." A mountain guide said this to us at Sayat Sayat Hut. Till today, I'm still haunted by his words as they remind me of the decision I made that day, that very moment. Too late for regrets.


Approaching danger zone

These are the huts where everybody stayed at. Breakfast awaits us at Pendant Hut (left, green) where we get to rest for awhile before we carry our bags and head down which was a...long....way....down...Gulps.


Above the clouds

Stunning

Awesomely precious

Nickles told us to look up and I was trying hard to open my eyes haha

I didn't realise it was this steep when I heaved myself up in the dark a few hours ago.

6 hours all the way up, 3.5 hours in the dark and brutal cold, 20 mins on top of the world, 3 hours descent in the storm and another 5 hours walking like crabs down the 6km where we came up in the rain. No training, no walking sticks, no shower, no porters. Against all odds, we scaled one of the highest mountain in Southeast Asia. I returned with both legs paralysed for two days but more importantly, a stronger and more open mind. With sheer endurance, I believe the mountains of obstacles we face in life are surmountable. We have weathered rough times in our years of relationship and this was no exception. Thank you for doing this with me.